The Dating Life of an Expat (Part I)
The dating topic is probably one of the most interesting ones when you are an expat. We all know that the realities of dating abroad are more difficult than they might seem, and on top of that the COVID-19 situation does not help. So, if you are fully experiencing these right now, this article is for you!
In this first article we will talk about the 1st type: An expat moving abroad single and alone. This one is probably one of the most common cases!
To date or not to date, that’s the question!
You are having fun and you love your new adopted city, your friends, your work, and your lifestyle. But, at the same time, you see your friends back home getting engaged, moving together, having kids, while you just picture yourself at the bar with a bunch of friends sipping your 3rd Margarita. (ok that was before COVID but it works as well with your friends at home) 😉 You are now facing the loneliness feeling as you start wondering about your situation. And it’s a NORMAL feeling, don’t worry!
So you might start using some dating apps such as Bumble, Tinder, Hinge.. or by coming to our networking events Apéros Frenchies hoping to have a crush on someone! (Yes we know!)
And it happens! Sometimes it comes fast, sometimes it takes time. But the struggle goes on when this person is from another country especially.. your crush doesn’t have the same “dating language” as you… and C’est la catastrophe!
Perhaps, we learn at school how to speak another foreign language but we don’t’ learn how to speak another foreign heart language! And especially this lockdown situation pretty much everywhere, it doesn’t make things easier, since restaurants and bars are closed!
“How does it work? Do we have to meet for dinner or an ice cream? Do we have to play it fancy or cool? Should we invite them to our place?“
Bref, so many questions that nobody really knows how to answer but that we all ask ourselves before even trying out the relationship!
- After a few texts you will more or less understand what your crush is feeling! She/He wants to meet you at her/his place but you don’t feel confident enough, just say it and offer him/her to grab a take away coffee downtown.
- Another situation: you feel like inviting him/ her to your place and this other person sounds up for it. Parfait! As a french person I would obviously advise to have some good wine in your cellar/fridge 😉 But also.. to prepare a casual nice dinner sans pretention. In case the date goes well! For example, try HelloFresh :You pick in advance which menu you want to receive depending on what you like .. and they deliver all the ingredients + recipe at your place! It’s perfect when you are in a rush or if there is a curfew! 😉
If you are freaking out to meet with this person alone, and you prefer to be in your comfort zone with friends, what about inviting this person for some drinks in a park with your friends, or do some hiking somewhere with them too? Honestly possibilities are limited right now but there are still some! If it goes well, you‘ll feel safer and better to meet in person the next time, plus you may get your friends’ approval (which is not THE most important, but still, it matters!) If it goes wrong, it would be just a funny memory you’ll talk about with your friends in the future! 😉
In conclusion, follow your instinct, go with the flow and don’t pretend to be someone you are not just because you’re afraid they don’t like you. One day they will figure it out anyway! Good luck!